11th House Astrology: Friendship and the Bliss of Solitude
Horses in the Snow. Photo by: Shreyas Sane
Friends in Astrology
On the surface, friendship and the idea of a chosen family seem pretty straightforward, but it’s actually quite nuanced. Not everyone needs the same type of friendship or even the same number of friends. Some people find bliss in solitude, which we’ll explore further below.
What is the 11th House in astrology?
The essence of the 11th House is the desire to seek the richness and beauty of life and share those experiences with our people. The 11th House captures our need to feel part of something bigger than ourselves: a place with friends helping friends.
The 11th House is one of the “fortunate” Houses. It has sight of the Ascendant by trine aspect, which means that the 11th House themes support and sustain our individual lives. The 11th House carries the themes of friendships, our communities on and offline, our fans and supporters, and even our colleagues at work.
In Medieval and Hellenistic astrology, Jupiter rejoices in the 11th House, which gives us even more clues about this special place. Jupiter's essential qualities are optimism, loyalty, love, and hope for our desires. Jupiter is like the wind that carries the seeds; it’s the seeking of abundance and blessings not just for the individual but also for everyone around them.
“Friendship is the most underrated relationship in our lives. It remains the one relation not bound by law, blood or money, but an unspoken agreement of love.”
No planets in 11th House?
An empty 11th House does NOT mean that you will never have friends or that you're destined for loneliness. Empty or not - the planet that most influences the theme of any house is the ruler of the house. All houses in astrology have a ruler, even if there are no planets in the house. The ruler of the 11th house directs and influences the themes of the house.
Medieval Astrology uses traditional sign rulerships:
The Sun rules Leo
The Moon rules Cancer
Jupiter rules Sagittarius and Pisces
Mercury rules Gemini and Virgo
Venus rules Taurus and Libra
Saturn rules Aquarius and Capricorn
Mars rules Aries and Scorpio
Where to find potential friendships using your birth chart
In the examples below, we’ll explore the potential for friendships by seeing where the ruler of your 11th House is in your birth chart.
Your birth chart is a web with many connections, so keep in mind there’s a lot more to this list.
“If an idea below resonates with you, follow it through even if you don’t have the ruler of the 11th House in that House. That idea might be pulling you because a different ruler in charge of some other social part of your life is overlapping with the topic of friendship.”
Your 11th House Ruler in your 1st House might mean you could meet friends interested in your style or perhaps people who want to learn and be influenced by you. This could look like sharing your personal health routines, the way you apply your makeup, or your gym routines. Have you considered starting a blog or launching your YouTube?
Your 11th House Ruler in your 2nd House could mean that you and potential friends might find a bond in the same “stuff,” like action figurine collectors or art collectors. These people may be interested in collecting, restoring, or trading in the same possessions as you.
The 2nd House in astrology represents all the material things that support life. In addition to the stuff that brings us joy, the 2nd House is also practical matters like food, clothing, and our personal finances.
Your 11th House Ruler in your 3rd House might mean that your friends are in your local community, your neighborhood, or that they are friends of your relatives. Consider meeting new friends through volunteering in your community, or engaging in new communities online.
The 3rd House is also short, local travel. You might try a local car club, or look into joining a meet-up of cyclists who ride on the weekends.
Your 11th House Ruler in your 4th House may indicate that your friendships are related to your roots. Try meeting people through activities related to the traditions of your ancestors, or your family history. You may also consider friends or associates of your parents.
Another interesting 4th House activity where you might meet friends is "Geocaching".
Geocaching is a treasure-hunting activity where people hide belongings and mark the location of their objects with GPS. The person who finds the cache notes his or her name and date in a notebook with the other objects and leaves it there for others to find.
Your 11th House Ruler in your 5th House could mean that your friendships are related to children in some way. You might consider reaching out to the parents of your kid’s friends or getting involved in the after-school activities of your local community.
The 5th house includes all forms of creation, not just children. Consider attending the next opening at your local museum or gallery, or go watch the live band play at your local watering hole. Consider connecting with creative people by either joining them in making things you’re passionate about or supporting them in some way.
Your 11th House Ruler in your 6th House could mean you may find friends who work shoulder to shoulder with you. They may also be people who help, support, or are themselves touched by the pain of accidents or illness.
The 6th House also includes small animals such as pets. You may find friends by volunteering at your local animal shelter or taking your dog to a dog park.
Your 11th House Ruler in your 7th House might mean that your friendships are more one-to-one. A common theme for the 7th House is romantic relationships, and it COULD be that your friendships tend to be your exes, but the 7th House is more than this. The 7th house is any contractual relationship. These are your partners and close collaborators that you’re bound to by some contract or agreement in all aspects of life, not just romantic partners.
Your 11th House Ruler in your 8th House might indicate that your friends are involved in the shared responsibility with other people's belongings such as estates and inheritances. You might consider going to weekly estate sales near where you live.
Since the 8th is also important collaborations with other people’s resources, you might also consider taking an interactive class in the stock market or investments.
Your 11th House Ruler in your 9th House could mean that your friends share the same interest in philosophy, religion, and spirituality as you. Your friends might be people who like to study these subjects in depth. Consider meeting new people in your spiritual circles, whether it’s a yoga class, or joining a meditation group.
The 9th House also covers long journeys and cultures other than our own. Consider joining communities that travel together or taking an exotic cooking class.
Your 11th House Ruler in your 10th House could mean your friends participate in your role outside the home, whether it's your career or people influencing your reputation. Your friends might be your mentors. Look for friends among leaders with the same ambitions as you, who may or may not be in your same industry.
You might look into Toastmasters. They are a worldwide organization that helps people improve their communication skills through a huge network of clubs that meet in person and online. It's a structured but warm environment where you can meet people who share an interest in improving their professional presence.
Your 11th House Ruler in your 11th House might mean that your friendships are friends of your friends, or they are people who share your same aspirations. When the ruler of the House is in its own house, there is often a natural ability in this area of life.
If this is the case in your chart but you experience difficulties in friendships, you may have Saturn in the 11th house or maybe Saturn is making a hard aspect to the 11th, especially if you were born during the nighttime. If you were born in the daytime and have Mars similarly placed, it could also signal challenges in the area of friendships.
It’s important to note that these planets are not ALWAYS trouble, and we really have to look at the whole chart to understand how this plays out for you personally. Saturn and Mars could also be harmless; for example, Saturn in the 11th house could mean your friends tend to be older than you, or have a serious way about them. Mars in the 11th house could mean your friends work with fire or knives such as chefs, glassblowers, or hunters. It all depends on your full birth chart!
Your 11th House Ruler in your 12th House may indicate that you have a preference for privacy in your friendships, or perhaps that your friends might not know one another. Consider joining private or exclusive groups. On the other hand, the 12th House includes themes of large animals such as horses. You might consider connecting with people who work with horses or livestock.
The 12th House also deals with addictions and other relatively dark subjects like prisons, mental health, grief or terminal illnesses. You may consider getting involved with recovery groups, or if you have experience with these challenges yourself, you might consider joining support groups.
For even more detail, look to see which OTHER house the ruler of the 11th House rules. 👀
For example - Let’s say you’re a Cancer Rising and you have a Taurus 11th house ruled by Venus. You have Venus in the 9th house and she rules your 4th House of Libra in this chart.
Your friends may be in a band that plays Bossa Nova music, a type of samba originating in Brazil. Let’s break that down:
In the above example, we blend the 9th House themes with the 4th House themes to see how those topics show up in the 11th house of friends. Bossa Nova music originated in Brazil in the 1960s (that’s the 9th house of different cultures and far away lands). The 4th house component could be that Bossa Nova was the music your grandparents played during family dinners while you were growing up.
Remember that the Sun only rules the house where Leo is located, and the Moon only rules the house where Cancer is located. These lights do not rule any other houses.
The Bliss of Solitude
Not everyone longs to be surrounded by friends. Some people prefer their own company more than anything.
The ancient astrologer Al-Khayyat* tells us if you have:
The ruler of the 11th House averse to the 11th House by major aspect (sextile, square, opposition or trine) using whole sign houses
And if Venus does not make an aspect (sextile, square, opposition or trine) to the ruler of the house she is in (for example if Venus is in the sign of Sagittarius and Venus does not aspect Jupiter, ruler of Sagittarius by sextile, square, opposition or trine).
And if the ruler of the Lot of Friends does not make an aspect (sextile, square, opposition or trine) with its lot. The Part of Friends is found by calculating the distance between the Moon and Mercury, and projecting that distance from the Ascendant by day and night equally.
It may mean that you are someone who strongly prefers to be on their own, and that’s how you’re the happiest when it comes to the topic of friends.
*The Judgements of Nativities Abu ‘Ali Al-Khayyat, Translated by James Holden, page 82.
“You may have “Bliss in Solitude” indicators in your birth chart, BUT ALSO have Venus in the 11th House, or Jupiter in the 11th House, which are strong indicators of having friends in your life.
So while you may have the good fortune of having friends, there could still be a strong pull towards being on your own, and you greatly value and enjoy your alone time. ”
The birth chart tells us our natural tendencies
In Medieval astrology, we analyze life issues through two lenses: The lens of the birth chart and the lens of the solar return chart. The birth chart tells us our natural tendencies but the solar return chart tells us how our tendencies are expressed over the years.
You don’t need to be an astrologer know that year after year there are changes in the way we express our character. There are years when we feel more comfortable in our inner world, and other years when we feel more expressive.
Fake friends vs real friends
Ideally, we all have friends helping friends, but that’s not always the case. This article is really just the tip of the iceberg on what the birth chart can reveal about friends in your life. Your birth chart can tell us if your friends will be a harmful influence on you and even how strong these friendship bonds will tend to be for you.
Planets in the 11th House describe the TYPES of friends you are likely to have, and the houses THEY rule can tell us what themes they bring in. A lot of nuance and care needs to be taken as we explore the topic of friends on a more personalized, individual basis. As with all things in life, everyone’s experience is uniquely their own.
